How Positive Affirmations Kill Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome is that crippling voice in your head that says things like, “Who am I to take on this project?” or, “there a million people that would be better at this than me” and “I don’t know enough to even start this thing I’m dreaming about”. But, the thing about voices in your head is that you are the one with control of the volume, stop, and play buttons. So start choosing what gets said in that head of yours, and start doing affirmation work right freakin’ now!
If you’ve spent more than ten minutes with me, I have probably told you to start doing affirmations (if not just know I thought it). It actually KILLS pieces of my soul to hear the people I love who can so quickly spew out their ten favorite insults about themselves, but whose whole face twists up trying to say something nice!
When I start getting real self-deprecate-y, I give myself a stern “WE DON’T TALK LIKE THAT IN THIS HOUSE” and start some affirmations. I have sets of affirmations that coincide with nearly every gross feeling and can promise you these things work if you really believe. I usually say these while I’m getting ready in the morning, or in the car on my way to whatever is making me nervous.
My imposter syndrome reeeally starts acting up in the following scenarios.
When I’m on my way to a meeting with a client that I haven’t been killing it for.
When I’m writing blogs. (Heyo!)
When I’m meeting a new client that is intimidating FOR ANY REASON.
When I’m networking (read: throwing up my mouth nervous)
Any of these ring a bell??
If they do,
A. Be my friend.
B. START DOING AFFIRMATIONS.
Here’s some of my favorite affirmations that shut imposter syndrome right up.
“I am an asset to any team.”
“I am a breath of fresh air when I walk in a room.”
“Whether they hire me or not, I am still great at what I do.”
“I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING.”
“Even if this doesn’t work out, there are so many people that are happy that I worked for them.”
“Sometimes I mess up, but I always know how to fix it or do better.”
Okay, as I’m writing I realized that I should tell you my personal rules for affirmations.
Ground Rules
1. I have to say them out loud, and as many times as needed until my voice sounds calm and confident.
2. Always use I language instead of you language. For example, “I know what I’m doing,” instead of “you know what you’re doing”. It’s easier to disconnect with the word “you” and makes it harder to own your affirmation.
3. The louder you say them, the more they work!
This is not magic reserved for the hippy-dippies, guys. It really comes down to voices of authority. If you always yell at your kids and call them stupid, they start believing and behaving as if they’re stupid. If you smack and scream at your dog enough, they begin to cower and lose their joy. Voices of authority can shape our actions and behavior and we haven’t realized that our personal voice is the biggest voice of authority there is!
So here’s my friendly reminder (actually, I’m insisting) to speak KINDER to yourself. Speak confidence to yourself. Speak some freakin’ power to yourself. You deserve it.
Share this blog with your accountabili-buddy to remind them that they deserve to see themselves how you see them!